The JLA big bang problem
by Aggie Deneys
Summary: The Justice League of America sends Dr. Ray Palmer/Atom to retrieve potentially dangerous information that fell into the hands of Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Is the JLA ready to take on Sheldon?


Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine.

Ray Palmer, aka the Atom, double-checked the address. He had the right apartment building. Now, he just had to get this over with. How had Batman ever convinced him to do this? It wasn't going to be an easy-in-easy-out situation. The potential complications seemed almost endless. There must have been other options, preferably options that would have been more in line with black ops, i.e., Batman's world. But, no, somehow Batman had talked him into this. Agreeing to be a reserve JLA member was definitely coming back to haunt him.

Batman had uncovered some disturbing information. A Caltech physicist was conducting experiments that had the potential to cause universal damage. The fact Batman had uncovered the information was not overly surprising. The man redefined the word "paranoid." However, Ray had not enjoyed the look Batman had sent him, a look stating, "You're a physicist, how had you missed this?" Why would he have known about it was what Ray really wanted to know? This again raised the question of how much access Batman really had. The Caltech physicist's data and research were, as of yet, unpublished. Again, how was he supposed to know about it? It wasn't like he read every single article related to physics. Who had the time? Who had the interest?

Besides, if this research truly had the potential for universal damage, why wasn't Kyle here? He was the Green Lantern. Weren't the Green Lanterns the supposed guardians of the universe? Ray sighed. The argument hadn't worked with Batman. Batman remained adamant that the man might voluntarily hand over the information to another physicist. Why again had he decided to rejoin the league?

The problem had started several months earlier. Michael Jon Carter, aka Booster Gold, and Ted Kord, aka the Blue Beetle, had attended a local Comic Con in their hero personas. Ray assumed Michael had been on some moneymaking scheme and had dragged Ted along. No matter the reason, as payment for attending the Comic Con, Ted had asked Michael for some data, which Skeets, Michael's robot, had graciously provided. Somehow, someway, Ted had lost the information.

Matters only became more complicated in that the information Ted had asked for hadn't yet been discovered and wouldn't be discovered for another two hundred years. Being from the 25th century, Skeets had access to all sorts of such information. Both Ted and Michael knew better. Worse, Ted had not immediately reported the slip-up. In the end, Batman had linked the physicist's research to the missing papers, and further supported the link by documenting that the physicist had attended the Comic Con.

Supposedly, Batman had tried to access (i.e., destroy) the information indirectly. Or at least he said he had. Whatever the plan had been, it hadn't worked. Hacking into the university's computers had proven ineffective as well. Ray paused – Batman had actually failed at something. That must have been a first, not that he would ever point that out to the man. He did value his life.

Ray just didn't understand why Batman was so hesitant to undertake a black ops action. Anyone in the Bat family would have been able to get in and out without being detected. Batman had argued it wasn't an option, particularly since this physicist was already paranoid. Having his research suddenly disappear would only increase the paranoia. Hmm, a paranoid calling someone else paranoid? There had to be a joke in there somewhere…

As usual, Batman had prepared a comprehensive dossier on the physicist for Ray. The physicist was a man named Sheldon Cooper. He had two doctorates and a master's degree, and was currently on staff as a theoretical physicist at Caltech. He didn't drive. He lived in an apartment with a roommate, another Caltech physicist named Leonard Hofstadter. While Batman's dossier had been complete, Ray had done some research as well, reading the papers the man had published. The papers revealed a very insightful person. However, brain power didn't explain how the man was so close to stumbling on something that wasn't supposed to be discovered for another two hundred years. Instead, everything pointed to Michael and Ted.

It all added up to a mess and potentially an even bigger headache for Ray. If Sheldon had truly stumbled across the information at Comic Con, Sheldon would mostly recognize him as the Atom. Ray didn't maintain a secret identity. Overall, it was no big deal. However, if this man had a higher than normal geek level, things could get extremely interesting. At least in Ivy Town, people left him alone. He didn't have to state again and again that yes, he knew Superman and Batman and Wonder Woman…and, well, the questions could be endless. Besides, it was always a jab to his ego. He WAS the Atom. He had fought his share of villains over the years. Yet, who remembered the Atom? It was always Green Lantern, Flash, Aquaman…except when he ran into individuals with higher than normal geek levels. Then it was time to reanalyze and discuss the more obscure details of his hero adventures.

Taking a deep breath, he went inside the apartment building. The elevator didn't work. Perhaps it was a cosmic sign of things to come. He climbed the stairs and knocked on the door to apartment 4A. It was opened by a tall, slender brown-haired man. "Yes?"

"Hi, I'm looking for Dr. Sheldon Cooper." The man who opened the door was Sheldon. The dossier had included photos. Still, it was better to play dumb. At least the man was home.

"And you are?"

Ray inwardly winced and held his breath. "Ray Palmer."

"I see." The door closed.

Ray stared at the closed door in surprise. It was definitely not the reaction he had anticipated. He knocked again. This time a shorter dark-haired man opened the door. Ray recognized him as Sheldon's roommate, Leonard Hofstadter.

The man smiled and opened the door to let Ray inside. "Sorry about that. Come in. You sort of threw Sheldon for a loop."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, Dr. Palmer," the man began. Ray silently swore. They recognized him. He was going to kill Batman. "Sheldon had to go change."

Ray frowned. This was growing more and more confusing. Change? The man had been fully dressed when he had answered the door. Why did he need to change? "Excuse me?" he asked again. He must be missing some important piece of information.

"He, well, he sort of…he thought you might view him as a traitor if he continued to wear his Green Lantern t-shirt, so he's searching for his Atom t-shirt. I'm Leonard by the way." The man held out his hand. Ray shook it.

They made Atom t-shirts? That was news. Ray shook his head. That wasn't the point. "Ray Palmer, but you already knew that."

Leonard smiled. "I am curious why you want to talk to Sheldon."

Ray heard the unasked question. He returned the smile and remained silent. He still had a little time to reanalyze the situation. Obviously, they knew his alter ego. Glancing around the apartment, he didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, nothing to suggest geekiness beyond normal parameters. There was still hope.

"Please, have a seat. Sheldon will be out shortly. Can I get you something to drink? Soda? Water?"

"No, thank you." He sat down on the sofa and contemplated miniaturizing the Batmobile. It wouldn't be too difficult. Better yet, it seemed as if it would be a fair start at payback.

Shortly, Sheldon reappeared wearing a royal blue t-shirt, with "Atom" printed in large red letters. His logo was behind the letter A. It also showed a picture of him standing on the letter T. Ray stood. "Sheldon?"

"Dr. Palmer, it is truly an honor to meet the man who successfully harnessed the power of the white dwarf star."

Damn. Geek levels were rising rapidly. "Sheldon, I'm here to discuss your current research into-"

"Whatever happened that time you and…"

Ray resigned himself to reliving his life. For twenty minutes, he answered their questions. Finally, his patience ran out. Neither man showed any sign of slowing down. Instead, at one point, they had said they should invite some more people over. "Dr. Cooper, Sheldon, we really need to discuss your current research into-"

"Why? I hate to be rude, Dr. Palmer, but my research is still…" Sheldon trailed off and frowned. He glanced at his roommate. A note of suspicion crept into his voice. "How do you know about my current research? Even Leonard here doesn't know."

Leonard nodded. "He's telling the truth. He hasn't shared anything."

"Because we know your source of information, those papers you discovered at Comic Con. We are asking you to stop your research and hand over all your notes and data." As a scientist, Ray knew what the reaction to that statement would be. Not surprisingly, Sheldon did not look pleased.

Instead of yelling, though, Sheldon focused on something else. "'We'? Who is this 'we' you are referring to?"

Before Ray could answer, Leonard looked at his friend and asked, "Is that true, Sheldon? Are you taking a shortcut?"

Sheldon sighed. "I merely found some papers lying on a bench. After reading them, I found them to be quite interesting. I am only trying to duplicate…" Sheldon paused and looked at Ray. "You never answered my question. Who is this 'we'?"

Ray sighed. "The Justice League."

Instead of looking intimidated, Sheldon looked impressed. "Really? These papers must be very important. What are they worth to them?"

"Sheldon, you've got to be kidding! This is the Justice League! The most powerful people in the universe. You don't want to mess with them."

"On the contrary, Leonard. If this information or my research is so important to them, why did they send Dr. Palmer, also known as the Atom? He isn't even an active member. Logic would state that they try to intimidate me, perhaps by sending the Batman to scare me. Secondly, why didn't they just take my research? They have the means. They have the technology." Sheldon faced Ray. "Most likely, you tried, but you realized you didn't have it all, so rather than take any, you left it all so as not to arouse my suspicions. Very clever. My suspicions were never aroused."

Ray felt his patience slip another notch. Maybe he should have brought Carter, aka Hawkman, along. Maybe Carter could have intimidated them. Then again, Carter's patience would have run out a long time ago, and when his patience got short, things seemed to get damaged. "Look, if you had come to the research on your own, we wouldn't care, but the papers contain information that could be dangerous in the wrong hands."

"How do you know that it could be dangerous?" Leonard asked.

Ray didn't feel like arguing with these two. Maybe he should just have borrowed Carter's mace. "If you don't give me the information, we'll find a different way to get it."

The idea seemed to excite Sheldon. "Ooo, does that mean I might meet Green Lantern? I really need to talk to him about the changes he made to the costume. He never should have messed with the original design. It is a classic." Leonard nodded in agreement.

"Excuse me?"

"You know, that new guy. He totally changed the Green Lantern uniform. Isn't that against some sort of regulation? I'm sure there must be some sort of code or regulation that states what the Green Lantern uniform should look like."

Ray truly couldn't believe he was having this conversation. Miniaturizing the Batmobile wouldn't be payment enough. He took out his communicator. He had had enough. If Batman wanted that information so badly, Batman could get it himself. "Atom to Watchtower. Two for transport."

"And what's up with…" Sheldon looked around him in surprise. "Where are we?"

"The Watchtower."

A look of amazement filled Sheldon's eyes. "Really?" Then he frowned. "It's very rude to teleport someone without their prior consent. Am I under arrest? I'm sure you don't have any jurisdiction, and even if you did, you never read me my rights."

Ray felt the beginnings of a really bad headache. He was relieved to see J'onn J'onzz, aka the Martian Manhunter, approaching. "Ray, is everything-"

"Wow. You're much taller than I had imagined. Then again, I really don't have any frame of reference for what the average Martian should look like. You may be average, or you may be shorter than average, or you may be taller than average. So, what are you?"

Ray noted the look of surprise, mixed with some bemusement, on J'onn's face. He made the necessary introductions. "J'onn, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper, the physicist from Caltech. Sheldon, this is J'onn J'onzz."

"Dr. Cooper."

"Mr. J'onzz, you haven't yet answered my question," Sheldon noted.

"I believe I would be just slightly taller than average," J'onn answered.

"That is good to know. Thank you for sharing that with me."

"My pleasure."

"Sheldon, let me show you to a conference room. J'onn and I have a few things to discuss." Ray quickly ushered Sheldon into a small meeting room. "Sorry about that."

"I assume Dr. Cooper's presence means you were unable to obtain the information."

Ray sighed. "You've met the man. It's…difficult. It's obvious to me he won't hand anything over."

"So, what do you suggest we do?"

"That Batman does his little scare routine and maybe you wipe his mind?"

Before J'onn could answer, the conference room door opened. "Sorry to interrupt, but since you are busy discussing the situation, perhaps if Green Lantern is around, you could have him come here. I really do want to discuss those changes he made."

"Fine. I'll see if he's here." Ray all-but pushed Sheldon back into the conference room and shut the door.

"Why does he want to see Kyle? What changes is he talking about?"

"He doesn't like how Kyle changed the uniform." The answer actually caused J'onn to smile. "See what I mean? I spent at least twenty minutes with him and his roommate going through a this-is-your-life-Atom."

"Could Diana possibly help?"

"I doubt it, but if she's here, we could try."

Shortly, Wonder Woman appeared. Ray quickly brought her up to speed on the situation. Together, the three of them entered the conference room. "Dr. Cooper, I'd like you to meet Diana, also known as Wonder Woman."

Rather than the usual reaction men had when being near Wonder Woman, Sheldon merely cocked an eyebrow. "Nice to meet you. So, is Green Lantern here?"

"I'm afraid not," J'onn answered.

Diana purposefully stood close to Sheldon. Sheldon looked at her. "Why is it that almost all of the female heroes feel the need to wear almost no clothing when the men are usually covered from head to toe? I mean, in all honesty, wearing that little bit of clothing cannot be comfortable. Likewise, it doesn't provide much in the way of protection. Not all the females are Amazon warriors like you, so they are more apt to injury. Wouldn't it be more logical for them to cover themselves with Kevlar?"

Ray covered his face with a hand. J'onn seemed extremely bemused. A smile tugged the corner of Diana's mouth upward. "You make a very good point, Dr. Cooper."

"Sheldon, please."

"All right then, Sheldon."

"So, let me guess, they were hoping that I would fall under the spell of your womanly charms and tell them everything they need to know?"

A true smile appeared. "Something like that."

Sheldon turned to J'onn. "If it's so important, why don't you just read my mind? Or is it all hogwash that Martians can read minds?"

"I assure you, Dr. Cooper, it's not hogwash, but reading someone's mind is an overt invasion of privacy that I try to avoid at all costs."

"I see."

"I'm hoping you will voluntarily hand over the information."

"Yes, Dr. Palmer, already asked that. But I have to wonder, if this information is so important, why was it left out for anyone to find?"

"That's a very good point, Dr. Cooper. Those involved have been punished."

Ray wondered what the punishment had been. If Batman had been the one to read Michael and Ted the riot act, he actually felt a bit sorry for the two men. Even though it was their fault he was in this predicament. "So, will you give us the information?" Ray asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"Dr. Palmer, as I stated previously, I really should receive something in exchange."

"You're on the Watchtower. You've met Wonder Woman and J'onn."

"Yes, but did I ask to be taken to the Watchtower? Did I ask to meet Wonder Woman or Mr. J'onzz? The only person I asked to meet was Green Lantern and he has not yet appeared."

"So, if you can meet with Green Lantern, you'll hand over the information?"

"Well, I must admit that the information seems to be worth more than just meeting Green Lantern."

"Dr. Cooper, I'll contact Green Lantern and get him here as quickly as possible," Diana stated, leaving the room.

Ray envied her escape. He was still stuck with this man. At least J'onn had stayed. "So, what else would you like?"

Sheldon appeared to give the question thoughtful consideration. "It is rumored that the Batman has an extremely high IQ. My own IQ is 187. I would like to challenge him to a game of Klingon Boggle."

Ray mentally patted himself on the back that he didn't burst out laughing. Maybe he wouldn't have to miniaturize the Batmobile. Watching Batman match wits with Sheldon in a game of Klingon Boggle would be priceless. What left him slightly frightened, though, was that he didn't even question whether Batman would know Klingon. The man seemed to know everything, so why not Klingon? "To make sure I heard you correctly, you will give us all the information you have in exchange for a chat with Green Lantern and a game of Klingon Boggle with Batman."

"That is correct."

* * *

Two hours later, Sheldon returned to the apartment he shared with Leonard. Like his departure, his arrival was via teleportation. He wasn't sure whether he liked traveling that way. His stomach felt jittery. Without a pause, he pushed the thought from his mind and opened the apartment door. He wasn't surprised to see Leonard as well as their two friends, Howard and Raj, waiting for him. "So? What happened?" Leonard asked.

Sheldon shrugged. "Nothing much. I gave them the information they wanted."

"And?"

"And what?"

"And did you meet Green Lantern?"

Sheldon sighed. "Yes." It had been disappointing to say the least.

"And?"

"I clearly explained that I do not approve of the changes he made to the uniform. Even though he listened, I doubt he will consider what I had to say. He seems to be very young and immature. I'm actually amazed he was given a power ring. I thought the Guardians of the Universe would have some standards. Apparently, they do not."

"And that was it?" Leonard asked. "Nothing else happened?"

"Well, I met J'onn J'onzz and Wonder Woman."

"You met Wonder Woman?" Howard asked.

"Yes, that's what I said."

"What was she like? Was she-"

"I informed her that I believe female heroes should wear more clothing and-"

"You did what!" Howard shouted. "Why? What's wrong with their outfits? They're perfect."

Sheldon ignored him. "I also met J'onn J'onzz, a very respectable a fellow."

"And that was it? No mind wipe? No threats?"

"Well, I did challenge Batman to a game of Klingon Boggle."

Leonard smiled. "And who won?"

The question surprised Sheldon. Why would Leonard ask such a silly question? He shrugged. "Who do you think?" Then he left the room.


End file.
